Flavorless Parenting

Earlier in the week my 11-year-old son came into the house upset, angry, fuming. Along with tears running down his face, I could see the smoke (revenge) coming from the top of his head. And as a mom I instantly wanted to comfort him, even before I knew what was wrong.

He sat down on the loveseat, I sat opposite of him on the couch, and I asked him what happened. He wasn’t ready to talk. His tears at the time were telling me enough. Then after a few minutes had passed, I asked again and he told me the details.

A classmate put together a dance group for the upcoming talent show. His best friend was a part of the group. He wanted to join. And she told him no.

He couldn’t understand why and it hurt him to the core. And ‘getting her back’ was the only thing he could think to do.

So we talked, let me rephrase, I talked, about what he told me. And I thought I was covering all the bases, saying all the right things, ‘Don’t let someone steal your joy’, ‘God will handle it’, and I even told him, ‘If you do anything I’m coming up to your school.’ But it wasn’t a home-run conversation by any stretch. Just my son’s face alone told me that this conversation was heading into the ‘yeah right’ zone.

What should have been a time of talking it through had turned into a lecture. No flavor, nothing added to his  heart, mind, and spirit. No seasoning added to his future choices. Adult decisions.

I hadn’t sowed anything biblical into our conversation. And although I had put a bit of God into it, it wasn’t at the heart of what God calls believers to do. What our conversation needed was a foundation in Christ. The way that God handles the things and people in our lives. And our part in that as well. That revenge, for us Christian’s, should never be the first line of defense.

So we started over, in prayer. I prayed for us and he prayed for his classmate. It should have begun in prayer but God, as he always does, brought His parenting skills to me. And the next day of school went on as usual. And wouldn’t you know it, this morning I came across Romans 12:17-21. I’ll be passing along those gems (words) to my son when he gets home today.

Romans 12:21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

I’ll ask this from time to time so feel free to jump in and answer…How Good is our GOD?

*Photo Credit: Melloveschallah

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2 comments

  1. I love your mothering skills….

  2. Thanks Naphtali, beautiful name. We have a 4-year-old as well so we learn daily, through both. Enjoying your page.

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